What if: the fall of the Roman Republic, but it literally follows the plot of Star Wars

Several months ago, over at alternatehistory.com, we had a discussion thread inspired by the oft-noted similarities between Roman history and Star Wars. In particular, of course, the fact that the Roman Republic turned into the Roman Empire much as the Galactic Republic turned into the Galactic Empire. In particular, the question being asked was: what if Roman history had more closely resembled the plot of Star Wars? What would you have to change for that?

Not as much as some might think, although certainly a bunch of things would have to be shaken up considerably. All in all, though, the actual history of Rome is already a lot more like that of Star Wars than one might expect at first glance. To begin with, George Lucas used certain recurring historical motifs that we see throughout history. Some people see Augustus in Palpatine, since he ended the Republic and created the Empire. But keep in mind that Caesar was murdered because people suspected (with good reason) that he was going to do the same thing. For this reason, I've always felt that Palpatine is more like a Caesar who lived longer, and actually got to seize power— in a way that was, historically, left for Augustus to do.

So there's our first step in making Roman history more like Star Wars: Caesar lives longer and gets to make himself the unrestrained despotic ruler of Rome. As I said, certain patterns in history are recurring. China saw just such a figure in the person of Qin Shi Huangdi: a man who, like Caesar, brought an end to an era with a dramatic power-grab, and then imposed a new system with unprecedented (and rather radical) reforms to the government; who amassed unheard-of direct executive powers unto himself; who attempted to disguise this power-grab with appeals to tradition and repeated denials of tyrannical intent; who was seen as a heroic superman by his followers and regarded as a tyrant by his enemies; who was, to a degree, quite obsessed with legacy, divinity and immortality.

That all fits Palpatine to a tee. What's more, the regime created by this divisive figure fell apart not long after his body was cold, which then caused a final bout of civil war, which in turn culminated in a less radical/controversial figure coming out on top when all rivals had been defeated. This figure is the Augustus of the story, or (to complete the Chinese analogy) the Gaozu of Han. He is the founder of a more broadly-supported regime, which inevitably lasts longer. In historical cases (such as those of Augustus and Gaozu), we see that this person always claims some kind of ancestral and divinely ordained claim to the throne; actual familial connections to any previous 'legitimist' ruler are, however, usually tenuous at best.

In the case of Star Wars, the closest approximation of this kind of figure is probably Jagged Fel— who successfully founds the Fel Empire, which is the equivalent of the Principate or Western Han. His link to supposed legitimism is two-fold. On one side, it's the fact that his father is Soontir Fel, an Imperial aristocrat and (as a war hero) a symbol of the Empire's strength. One the oher side, it's the fact that Jagged Fel marries Jaina Solo, who is not only the daughter of Leia Organa (thus linking Fel's claim with that of this highly prominent rebel against Palpatine) but also the grand-daughter of Darth Vader (who many would have assumed to be the most credible heir to the childless Palpatine). In this way, Jagged Fel successfully unites the claims to legitimacy of both the pro-Palpatine and the anti-Palpatine factions. This allows him to create a stable dynasty.

Of course, this only works in the context of the original continuity (a.k.a the expanded universe). The new Disney continuity wouldn't recognise macrohistory if Oswald Spengler and Arnold Toynbee both rose from the grave and took turns kicking Mickey Mouse in the nuts. But that's neither here nor there.

In any event, to make Roman history more like Star Wars, we need a "delayed" Augustus as much as we need a more successful Caesar. Jagged Fel is a generation further removed from Palpatine than Augustus was from Caesar, after all. We will assume that one or both of Octavian's parents died young, in the turbulent period of civil war between Marius and Sulla. This prevents Octavian from existing, thus explaining his absence from the narrative.

So who's who, in this tale? We may assume that that the Populares, of whose faction Caesar was the final champion in the struggle for supreme power, are analogous to the Core World-based "reformers" and populists who followed Palpatine. In the same way, the Optimates are the Megacorps and the wealthy CIS plutocrats of this tale. That makes Pompeius Magnus the Count Dooku. Crassus is Nute Gunray. Marcus Antonius is Caesar's lieutenant, and must therefore be Anakin Skywalker a.k.a. Darth Vader.  Cleopatra is the Padmé, obviously. She even had twin children with Marcus Antonius! These twins, Alexander Helios and Cleopatra Selene (or some iteration of them, anyway) are obviously the Luke and Leia. The Liberatores are the Delegation of the Two-thousand, and (later on) the founders of the Rebel Alliance. (Obviously. "Restore the Republic!" and all that.)

Cleopatra obviously never has a relationship with Caesar in this version of events, and Caesar instead encourages the relationship between her and Marcus Antonius early on— presumably because it would make his trusted lieutenant the consort (and essentially Caesar's viceroy) in Egypt. Of course, since Cleopatra isn't a citizen of Rome, the relationship would be controversial back home. Nevertheless, version of) the twins Alexander Helios and Cleopatra Selene are born earlier than they were historically, and Caesarion obviously never exists.

Caesar seizes power in Rome, and uses brutal tactics against his opponents. The conservative Marcus Calpurnius Bibulus (Finis Valorum), who has long opposed Caesar, is publicly humiliated and then cruelly sent into a "retirement" that he spends under house arrest. Some are even less fortunate. One of Caesar's veteran soldiers, Marcus Vitruvius Mamurra (in the role of Darth Maul) is sent to assassinate the bothersome Cicero (Qui-Gon Jinn). These kinds of excesses turn many notables against Caesar. Among them is Caesar's erstwhile close ally, Marcus Junius Brutus— roughly the Obi-Wan of this tale. Even Marcus Antonius has a moment of doubt, as Caesar's blood-thirst seems to exceed all bounds.

The conspirators attempt to turn Marcus Antonius against Caesar. This proves to be their undoing, as he is ultimately loyal to Caesar, and rushes to warn him of the plot. Gaius Cassius Longinus (Mace Windu), one of the leading conspirators, is arrested and quickly killed. The would-be Liberatores, however, have realised in time that their intent has been uncovered. They flee Rome in haste. Brutus and Cato the Younger (Yoda) know that they must seek shelter beyond the reach of Caesar, and head East.

Caesar uses the conspiracy against him as an excuse to do precisely what the conspirators feared he was planning anyway: he seizes absolute power. The Senate becomes a powerless body. Afterwards, he intends to hunt the Liberatores down as he makes his own way East. He prepares to carry out his planned Parthian campaign. This, however, causes the Parthians to provide safe haven for the exiles.

Caesar's Parthian campaign is militarily successful, but gains little profits and costs a lot. Marcus Antonius is horribly maimed during the war. Holding on to the conquered lands proves impossible. Marcus Antonius is stationed in Egypt to guard the border. Cleopatra, however, has now realised that she has become a powerless figure in her own court. It is Marcus Antonius who governs Egypt, on Caesar's behalf— and it is a despotic reign, since her disfigured husband has become a deeply embittered man. Soon enough, she has become utterly disgusted with her husband and his mighty patron. Secretly contacting the Liberatores, she arranges to be "abducted and killed", along with her children. In reality, they are spirited away into Persian exile. Her hope is to see her twin children return and seize power in due time.

At the court of Orodes II (who shares the part of Bail Organa with his son), she isn't quite safe, either. A Roman traitor soon hopes to receive Caesar's pardon by betraying the survival of Cleopatra and her children. He is captured and killed in time, but Alexander Helios is removed for his own safety, and raised incognito in the more Eastern parts of the Persian Empire, on the edges of the Gedrosian desert. Brutus volunteers to accompany the child and to oversee his education as a true Roman.

Nearly two decades pass. In Rome, Caesar's rule becomes ever more chafing, and he himself becomes ever more paranoid. Marcus Antonius, hateful over the (supposed) murder of his family, is Caesar's ruthless burcher. More bland figures, such as Lepidus (Mas Amedda), run the governmental administration. Taxes are constantly increased to pay for Caesar's punitive campaigns against all dissenters. This kind of crual reign has caused the Liberatores to become a viable political movement, opposing Caesar's autocracy. They paint Caesar's rule by decree as a way of governing via a "Tarquinius Doctrine"—thus deliberately evoking the hated king who was overthrown by the founders of the Roman Republic.

Knowing that the Parthians are funding and safe-guarding the Liberatores, Caesar and Marcus Antonius attempt a second conquest of Parthia. He initially succeeds in conquering the capital. Gnaeus Domitius Calvinus (Grand Moff Tarkin) is intructed to burn the city to the ground, which he does with sadistic glee. Phraates IV (who shares the part of Bail with his father) and most of the Liberatores are put to the sword. Only Cato the Younger, the "wise old man" of the anti-Caesar movement, escapes into hiding. Cleopatra Selene is captured, but Caesar and and his subordinates remain unaware of her true identity. They believe that she is the daughter of Phraates IV with a Roman concubine. (Her actual mother, Cleopatra, had died from illness years before.)

Two young officers who distinguishing themselves in the campaign are Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa (the Thrawn of the ensemble) and Nero Claudius Drusus (the Soontir Fel of this story). The Caesarian forces advance into Persia, pushing all the way to the Gedrosian desert, where Brutus and Alexander Helios are forced into a hasty retreat. Learning of Cleopatra Selene's capture, they undertake a daring mission to rescue her from Rome, aided by another exile: Juba of Mauretania (the Han Solo). He had been taken to Rome by Caesar when he was a child, as a relatively esteemed political hostage, but was side-lined after the conspiracy against Caesar unfolded. He barely had a chance to escape with his life when Caesar's paranoia escalated, and ended up in Parthia— bitter and penniless, the "prince of scoundrels". Brutus offers him a sizable reward for his aid, and the men gather sufficient forces for a daring raid.

They manage to rescue Cleopatra Selene from captivity. Soon after, having rallied enough Parthian support, they fight a climactic battle against the Caesarian forces. The alliance of the remaining Liberatores and the Parthian remnants is surprisingly victorious. Although Brutus falls in battle, Calvinus is killed on the Caesarian side, thus avenging the butchery he carried out on Caesar's behalf. Alexander Helios distinguishes himself and becomes the hero of the Liberatores. Caesar publicly blames Agrippa for the catastrophe, since he had supposedly devised the battle plan. Agrippa is exiled to Britain. In reality, though, Caesar considers Agrippa one of his most loyal lieutenants, and the "exile" is a feint. Agrippa has been instructed to guard the borders against opportunist Barbarian invaders. At the same time, he is to assemble a great force of auxiliaries, with which the Liberatores are to be crushed.

Caesar does not live to see the outcome of such plans. A few years into this war, he attempts to lure his advancing enemies into a trap in the forests of Dacia (corresponding to Endor). Agrippa had warned him about the risks of such strategies before, but in his old age, the increasingly tyrannical and megalomaniacal Caesar is no longer open to reason. The plan goes awry when a Dacian uprising (being the Ewoks here) succeeds in overwhelming the Caesarian defences. Caesar's military camp is besieged, and although Alexander Helios is taken as prisoner of war for a short period, the final outcome is that Caesar is killed in battle. Marcus Antonius likewise dies. (Later historical romances will claim that the latter recognised his son Alexander Helios among the enemy, and killed Caesar himself out of love for his son. This is almost certainly a latter-day invention.)

After this, the Liberatores (backed by the Parthians) begin a campaign to reclaim Rome and restore the Republic. Alexander Helios, having sought out Cato the Younger after Brutus died, has been taught republican values. Although Cato—who, despite the epithet, wasn't all that young anymore!—died before Caesar was defeated, his values live on and his ideology triumphs: Alexander Helios insists upon a restoration of the Roman Republic. Cleopatra Selene agrees wholeheartedly, not in the least because she has fallen in love with Juba of Mauretania. He has been proclaimed a Roman citizen by Brutus, before his death, and "for his singular courage" was given the name Juba Hadrianus Solo. Cleopatra Selene wishes to marry him, which should be possible if they are both simply citizens. If she attempted to use her mother's royal blood to claim a throne, it would be far from easy!

Now begins the campaign to liberate Rome from the Caesarian faction. Various generals of Caesar's faction have become warlords. Drusus sides with the Liberatores for some time, but ultimately defects to Agrippa, who has quickly set up a quasi-barbarian "Empire" of his own in Britain. Shortly thereafter, they march on Rome, just as the Liberatores have managed to formally restore the Republic. They almost capture the city, but Agrippa is betrayed by one of his Britannic bodyguards, thus ending his chance to restore the Empire. Drusus, who is married to a daughter of a powerful family that has sided with the Liberatores, assumes command of Agrippa's forces and is able to negotiate a truce. He withdraws back to Britain, in order to put his realm in order.

The Roman Republic has to spend the next two, three decades dealing with various neo-Caesarist warlords. At least Parthia isn't a threat, since it is also a bit of a mess after the death of Phraates IV. After all the warlords are defeated, and only the Britannic Empire of Drusus remains, a durable peace is concluded between that realm and the Republic. This ends the "Caesarist Wars" for good.

Sadly, it does not bring the lasting peace that many had hoped for. Soon, the Republic has to face an invasion of Germanic peoples, who seek to exploit the weakness of the war-damaged Roman state. The Britannic Empire isn't safe from these predations, either, and an alliance between the Republic and the Empire is forged during the war. Over the course of the conflict, the provinces of the Republic become largely self-governing, and during the crisis years, Rome accidentally evolves into a sort-of federal system. After peace has been restored, the daughter of Cleopatra Selene and Juba Hadrianus Solo (the Jaina Solo of the story) marries the only surviving son of Drusus (the Jagged Fel), thus cementing the strong alliance between the two states.

And there you have it. A history of Rome, roughly 50 BC - 10 AD, imitating the events of Star Wars, roughly 25 BBY - 35 ABY. If you want to consider the works of that controversial scribe Troius Denningius as authentic, then you may add to this historical narrative by describing how the elder son of Hadrianus Solo and Cleopatra Selene—styled in several histories as “Iason Hadrianus Caedus”—later supposedly became the leader of a resurgent Neo-Caesarist faction, and briefly ruled Rome as a Dictator. Personally, I consider that whole episode to be apocryphal, since no reliable source even refers to these events. (And furthermore, as I have noted earlier, the works from the library of gens Disneia, those wealthy heirs of Waltharius Disneius Musculus, are utterly without merit or accuracy. These should be dismissed as politically motivated slander and pastiche.)

This, of course, leaves us with one burning question: what if the plot of Star Wars more closely resembled actual Roman history? I suppose that's for another post...